Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there lived a Fairy Princess. She wasn’t particularly fair or dainty and most princes paid her no mind. Her parents weren’t regal and instead of a castle she lived in a tiny studio apartment. However, she loved the gays, making her a FAIRY PRINCESS.

This Fairy Princess has been waving the rainbow flag since she was a small child. She quickly realized the importance of having a gaggle of gays in her posse. She didn’t need woodland creatures to help her get ready for The Ball. She never asked “Mirror, mirror on the wall”, she knew she’d never be the fiercest one of all. Although she dipped her pinky in the Lilith Fair, she wanted a pussy pouncing prince to call her very own. Until then, she was tickled pink to kick it with her boys.

The fairy princess kissed a few frogs but never did fret for too long as her trusty Mo’s were always there with a “poison apple” to lift her spirits and take her dancing. Never was she happier than vogueing in a sea of shirtless Go-Go Boys. Life was almost perfect until tragically one night, when the clock struck 12, her gaydar malfunctioned and the princess’ little heart was broken. She recovered gracefully as all good fairy princesses do.

Time marched on and so did our Fairy Princess. She proudly marched for equality and embraced Gay Pride. One enchanted evening our Fairy Princess met her Prince Charming. He had absolutely no interest in who designed her glass slippers and embraced her homo’s like Bro-Mo’s. The Fairy Princess and Prince Charming wed and produced 2 heirs, a little girl and boy. They will be raised to love and never judge.

Now that the Fairy Princess and her brood live in the Burbs she doesn’t get to see her gays as often. She gets her fix by detecting the future of gay youth on the playground. Maybe she’ll even help ease some of them into becoming proud gay men just like a good Fairy Godmother should.


The End.

18 comments:

cjaxon said...

It is no fair! All of my friend have gays and I don't have a one!! Dang Mississippi!

12gViolet said...

Gay men are awesome as friends. They're the only ones we girls can be absolutely certain aren't trying to jump in our pants, no matter how drunk they get. And you can totally go hottie watching with them. Score.

*waves her own Fairy Princess flag proudly* Btw, I totally dig your term so much more than fag hag.

shrink on the couch said...

Playgrounds need more moms like you !

Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

FABbulous.

My high school boyfriend is married to the guy I went to the prom with.

I am a proud, proud princess from way back!

Tracie said...

Not to copy the comment above me but my prom date was gay, too. And so was my first blind date. Love it!

notasoccermom said...

OMG, you are briliant, I lament the same problem on a daily torture. You are completely unaware that my stepford enclave, next to yours, is a haven for modern home loving gays, and they are EVERYWHERE here, but sometimes far too civilized for my taste. That being said, I tend to go see my ay husband in NY when I need a fixin' and his gay husband is super fabulous, natch!

Lets get on our brooms and go for a ride

Aunt Becky said...

I miss being a fag hag.

Crystal said...

My high school boyfriend is now working as a life guard on a cruise ship and dating someone better looking than my husband. FML.

(p.s. I stumbled across your blog from a link on someone's else's and must say it's effing hilarious! Please keep posting!)

Lady Of The House said...

Thanks for the comments all. They are awesome to read. In the words of Oleta Adams, "I don't care how you get here. Just can here if you can."

Anonymous said...

Wow, you're writing AND tweeting about princesses!!! :)

Marinka said...

I have some extra gays, if Your Highness needs some.

BigLittleWolf said...

I love my gay male friends. As long as they don't try on my shoes. My gay female friends, however, are more than welcome. It's a shoe thing.

Loved your tale. It's definitely a happily ever after.

Meri Weiss said...

This is your best blog yet...perfect combination of sincerity and sass. xo

Renegade Mom 2 said...

Ok, now I'm sure I understand why I love you; I'm a gay man trapped in a womans body.
Send shoes.

~RM2

Lady Of The House said...

Well then get your ass closer to me you big queen.

mysteryjewel said...

Even though I have a gay son, I could use a gay friend. My son likes rap, video games and violent horror films. When I need fashion advice or hair styling tips I hear,"But Mom, I'm not THAT gay".

PlaidSheep said...

OH MY GOD!! This was my life when I was single and worked for Disney. I was a Fairy Princess too and then I met Prince Charming and moved to Boston.
(sigh)
but you are right.. there was no better way to spend my 20's than in a sweaty, shirtless hot boy grind line at P.I... you always had a shopping partner and a date when you needed someone who looked good in a tux and had manners.

Jessica said...

I need a gay friend...he'd probably pick out some killer outfits. I kind of suck in that department